Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
