Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Randomize
