your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
