i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
