I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
