dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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