i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm always down for nudity.
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