I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
