he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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