you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
