oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
