Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize