so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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