I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
