this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
