SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
