she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
