then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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