I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
