Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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