i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
