its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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