just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
