apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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