There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
