is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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