no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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