Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I understand Curling. That high.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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