i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
