We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
