barbara walters just said penis...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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