i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
