I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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