at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
