You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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