if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
