Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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