HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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