uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize