So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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