i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
