Your mouth is God's brothel.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
