so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
