Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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