how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
