either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
