Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize