You're my little dorito
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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