can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
