how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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