I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You can't motorboat a personality
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
