when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
