Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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