It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
