I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
