I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
