yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
