That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
