Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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