I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
