The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
