It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
