Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
