You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
