:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
