BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
