I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
