hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
