doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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