Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
